The Comparison Crisis

It's not the first time that I've commented on this - but it came up again in conversation yesterday.

The Comparison Crisis is what happens when you start to look at other people who have "more than you" and your Chimp tells you that you have somehow failed.

• I have a former school-friend who sold her business to a Venture Capital company and has made millions. Here I am, the same age and still working;

• My best friend at University now has 5 practices and here I still am with my one;

• We used to train together in the early days - now I'm eating and drinking too much and she is running marathons;

• Have you seen their new house? OMG.

• He is retiring at age 55 - I never got properly started with my pension plan and it now looks as if I'll be at it until I drop.

And so it goes on.

Your Chimp absolutely loves this, as it fans the flames of your uncertainties and anxieties.

Solution?

Sit beside me for a couple of weeks, as I listen to my clients, and you will realise the truth of the wise advice I had many years ago.

"Never compare your "inside" with anybody else's "outside".

The "inside" is the core of the onion.

The "outside" is those fragile layers of skin that can be peeled away so easily.

We all have a core - that's the real us - and we are all vulnerable, anxious, even scared.

The best times in coaching (and friendship) are when you get "core to core" - that's when you can be of most help.

The onion skins are just the B.S. we use to protect our core.

"Look at my house/car/holiday/practice/medal/family/dinner!"

We all do it - I do it - nowadays it's called social media - posting pictures of our onion skins.

Nothing wrong with that - but please don't allow someone else's onion skins to ever make you feel bad about your core.

Over 71 years (on Monday) I've generally observed that, the more skins there are, the smaller the core. I prefer people with bigger cores and fewer skins.

You are the perfect version of you - carpe diem.