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a blog by Chris Barrow

Letters from a perfect imperfectionist: We are at war…

We are at war. With what seems like every retail organisation in the world, who want us to buy something off them because CHRISTMAS IS COMING.

Everyone I speak with – clients, their team members, taxi drivers, fellow passengers on the rail – seems as sick of it as I am.

  1. Since when did Christmas start on 6th November?

  2. Since when did anyone in the UK give enough of a shit about Black Friday to punch another person’s face in Tesco at 00:30am on CCTV for a 42” plasma?

  3. How many more times have we got to watch a £100 toy penguin advert, WW1 soldiers swapping chocolate and playing football and listen to that obsequious so-called Ebola “hit single”?

  4. How many more envelopes of junk mail with pictures of people/pets/animals suffering do I have to carry from the front door straight to the re-cycle bin?

  5. How many more brilliantly lit homes covered in multi-bulbed blinking reindeer do I have to travel past on my way home from the station?

  6. How many cloud-based software systems am I going to have to read about with a massive “festive” discount?

The answer is – for nearly another 2 feckin’ weeks until Boxing Day, when they will start asking me to book a holiday and get in the queue for the January sales (which will, no doubt, start in December).

I’m keeping my eye out for Easter bargains, any day now.

I can remember a time when cabbage-patch dolls and the Tracy Island created a modicum of civil unrest.

What’s happening here has all the hallmarks of civil unrest.

The only people who (so far) seem to have been absent from this sickening orgy of affluenza-based brainwashing are Apple – no doubt because they don’t need the business. They have already sold everything to everyone.

“These “letters” are the personal observations of me, Chris Barrow and are not intended to reflect the views of 7connections and its team members, they just give me permission to publish here on the basis that they can keep an eye on me, a bit like a mad relative at a wedding reception. I’m likely to upset the sensitive and outrage the sensible – if you fall into either of those camps then read at your peril.”

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