Sleepless in cash flow land

Its now 9:00 and I’ve been sat at my desk since 4:45 this morning – I actually woke at about 4:00 and just lay there in bed working out cash flows and fantasising about what could go wrong. Is it me? I have this ongoing issue/phobia around organising professional and personal finances – and if i don’t have my finger on the pulse I just stress out and worry. I knew this was coming – three days of Easter rest and relaxation have been marvellous – we have cooked at home (“we?” says Annie), enjoyed the lovely weather, walked and walked…… read books in the garden, watched TV in the evening – and I mentioned to Annie yesterday that I would be working this morning, to give myself a head start on the week. After watching Skellig on TV last night (OK – but only OK) we watched the last episode of Billy Connolly traversing the North West Passage (wonderful mini-series), I read my current novel for a while (the rather bleak Cormac McCarthy novel “The Crossing”) – and then lights out with the intention of sleeping until maybe 8:30 this morning and working until lunchtime. But no. 4:00 and I’m not only awake but lay in a cold sweat thinking about everything I have to do. Then the gremlins start to circle around the darkened bedroom and I imagine a world without a job, without client fees and an inability to support those who depend upon me. It’s clear that I’m not going to drift off again – so the desk-side session begins at 4:45. Good news? I have now proved to myself that the in-comings and out-goings between now and 30th April match – that the world isn’t going to come to an end – and I can get on with enjoying the rest of the day (if I can stay awake). Perhaps what I need in writing this post (apart from the catharsis before I make a cappuccino and switch off) is the reassurance that I’m not the only one – maybe not last night but just generally. That there are some other souls out there in the dead of night, working on Excel to make sure that ends meet?