THINKING BUSINESS
a blog by Chris Barrow

Emotions

Last week was a week of emotions running high across the whole range of people I know:

  1. I’m frustrated with you – because you didn’t respond quickly enough

  2. I’m afraid of you – because you are going to change things

  3. I’m angry with you – because you have left me out

  4. I’m worried – because you’ve told me that my business/life isn’t working

  5. I’m astonished – that you have called my bluff

  6. I’m sad – that what I thought you said and what I thought you did were different

  7. I’m surprised – that you said anything!

  8. I’m delighted – that we have met and I feel good about you

  9. I’m excited – that new doors are opening for us since I met you

  10. I’m anticipating – a bigger future with you

  11. I’m determined – to succeed through hard work and passion to show you I can do this

  12. I’m inspired – by your confidence in me

  13. I’m comforted – that you have my back on this

  14. I’m proud – to be your friend

We waste too much time dealing with how we feel and how other people are going to feel about us. If somebody else doesn’t like you or doesn’t agree with your decisions and the way they are implemented, that is their privilege in a democracy. Because somebody tells you these things – it doesn’t mean you have to react OR respond. Possibly the best coaching I ever had (back in 1996 from my then personal coach Marlene Panet-Raymond) was “other peoples’ opinion of you is none of your business.” I’m just like you. I’m a breadwinner, a parent, a life-partner, a business partner, an employer, a coach, an investor, a client, a customer, a neighbour, a friend. I’m just like you. A solver of problems – my own – and then everybody else’s. I’m just like you. I have to make 1000 decisions a day. Every day. If I get 99% of my decisions right (and that would be a result, don’t you think?) I’ll make 10 wrong decisions every day. People don’t beat a path to my door because I make right decisions – they call on me because I just MAKE THEM. I can dwell on the decisions I get wrong, wrestle with your emotional response – and then wrestle with mine. Listen to you beat me up – and then wriggle on the hook and try to make things better (usually making them worse in the process). Or I can focus on the 990 decisions I got right and the positive difference that will make to those at the receiving end. I’ve no time for the people who want to dwell on the wrong decisions I make and wallow in self-pity and recrimination, expecting me then to make MORE decisions that will make their lives better. You have an ‘on/off’ switch when it comes to having Chris Barrow in your life. Use it.

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