My penultimate year at school was 1968 – an era without mobile phones or the internet. In the breaks we congregated in the bike sheds at the back of Burnage Grammar School. We gossiped (along with the occasional Players No6). Gossip is a conversation about people who are not present. Our gossip was about how awful our teachers were, about other pupils and especially about the scrotes at Ladybarn School a half-mile away, driven by the knowledge that the two schools would be me

My new iPhone 6s Plus has made my iPad Mini obsolete, along with the accompanying bluetooth keyboard, (Product) Red magnetic cover and Herschel carrying case (we do like to accessorise). I’ve delayed the purchase of a new Macbook Pro until next Spring, when I hope the new models will be released. I will have to add an expensive plethora of connections from the USB-C port to my existing external devices but it will be worth it to open a Space Grey clam case on the 06:12 Wilmsl

I’ve been thinking recently about what I actually use my iPhone for? Selfies – if you know me, you know that’s a big tick. Facebook – big tick. Emails – tick. Messaging – tick. FaceTime – tick. Google – tick. About a dozen or so very useful applications around travel and fitness – tick. Text message – small tick. Telephone calls – effectively no tick. I hardly make any outgoing calls and the majority of incoming calls remain unanswered because I’m in meetings, travelling or s