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All problems exist in the absence of a good conversation
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The 12 greatest lessons I’ve ever learned

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I thought I’d give you a break from the business of dentistry and just share with you some thoughts I’ve been pondering on recently.

It appears that both business and personal coaches are experiencing something of a revival in UK dentistry at present – largely, no doubt, because of the way in which the New Contract is forcing principals and team members to think rather more seriously about their lives.

I don’t “do” personal coaching – and refer clients who need help to my colleagues who are talented in that field. My own speciality is business coaching – which tends to be a rather “hard-assed” approach to profitability and productivity, whilst retaining compassion for the needs of both patients and team members.
Recently, I was asked to create a list of the most important of the valuable lessons I have learned from the “giants” whose shoulders I’ve been privileged to gaze from – and here they are – in no order of importance:

1.Work is in the way of wealth – Robert Kiyosaki
If you haven’t read “Rich Dad, Poor Dad” I strongly recommend that you do – one of those books you will complete, throw at the wall and exclaim “why didn’t I read that when I was 21!”
When you have read the book, you can visit the web site at http://richdad.com/ and immerse yourself in this man’s entertaining wisdom. Add a dash of Michael Gerber (The E-Myth Revisited is another book to throw at the wall) and you are well on the way to understanding that work creates income – not wealth. That wealth comes when you stop working and start thinking – hardly possible when you are chasing UDA targets eh?

2. Life is too short to wait until Friday – Charlie the bus-driver
This quote came from Charlie the bus-driver during a holiday in Banff, Canada last year. Charlie looks just like the school-bus driver in The Simpsons, an ageing hippy, and drove the bus from our hotel into town most days.

Seeing him in the local supermarket one evening, complete with dog, mountain bike and fishing rod I asked him “Hey Charlie, how come you aren’t driving the bus tonight?”
“It’s my day off, “ he replied, “and on my day off I go fishing up country.”
“Isn’t that a long way to go for one day?” I asked.
“Nope,” he smiled, “I go fishing every day I don’t drive the bus – after all, life’s too short to wait till Friday.”
And, of course, he is absolutely right – how often do we delay and procrastinate on big decisions?

3. All problems exist in the absence of a good conversation – John Niland – Executive Coach
John is an international executive coach who originates in Ireland but now lives and works in Brussels. I’ve known him for years and this phrase popped out during a chat we were having almost 10 years ago now.
And yet it ranks in my top 12 – very close to the top.

As a business coach I seem to spend an extraordinary amount of time encouraging my clients to have conversations with suppliers, partners, team members, patients and even spouses. Conversations that, once again, they have deferred to avoid confrontation.

John was so accurate – ALL problems – that’s ALL of them – exist if those conversations don’t take place.

4.Enjoy the 10% – Barry Woolley – Independent Financial Planner
Barry was my first sales manager and my first professional hero and mentor – back in the early 80’s. He introduced an enthusiastic but clueless young man (me) into the world of professional sales with the following words:
“You are now a salesman.
You will spend 10% of your time elated by your success.
You will spend 20% of your time depressed by your failures and disappointments.
You will spend 80% of your time either too busy or too tired to know how you are feeling.
When you get in the 10% zone – take some time to celebrate – because it won’t last long.”
I’m so aware that dental principals and their teams don’t take enough time to celebrate their successes.

5.Mountains, valleys and missiles – Walter Hailey – Dental Boot Kamp
The (now deceased) founder of Boot Kamp once stood on a stage at the Toronto Airport Sheraton and co-presented with Stephen Anderson for 3 days to over 600 dental team members (and me).
And he said:
“Life is a series of mountains, valleys and missiles. The mountains are those moments when you feel it cannot get any better. The valleys are those moments when you feel it cannot get any worse and the missiles and the unexpected mishaps that throw us off the tracks.
If you win the lottery, you don’t stop this process – you just get to enjoy your misery in more interesting places.”

6.Everything is sales – Chris Barrow – Dental Business Coach (and probably 100 others)
I’m not sure who to attribute this too – but my 25 years in financial services and 13 years coaching small business owners have reinforced that everything is about sales – everything.
You’ve heard that cash is king in a business – well cash is a consequence of a sale.
Many years ago, the legendary Bill Shankly was asked to lecture to an audience of dignitaries on football tactics and his role as manager of Liverpool F.C.
He is reputed to have walked on stage and said:
“Ladies and gentlemen, the objective of a game of football – is to score a goal.”
Then walked off.
No doubt a legend – but the message is transferable.
Michael Gerber has said that the objective of a business – is to sell it.
Others have said that the objective of a business is to make a profit – and that a business has no other objective.
It has also been said that the purpose of a business is to solve the client’s problem.
None of this happens without a sale – we are all in sales.

7.This too will pass – King David
Reputed to be engraved on a ring worn by King David – to remind him – that no matter how good or bad the situation was – it was transitory.
When everyone is bleating about the New Contract – or bragging about cosmetic treatment sales – remember that, it too will pass.

8.You cannot keep everybody happy – every parent in the world
I’ve co-parented 5 children and had responsibility for professional teams since 1985.
No matter what you do – you cannot keep everyone happy – so you just have to be fair, firm and do what you think is best.

9.Everything never changes – Daniel Gilbert (author of Stumbling on Happiness)
Happiness is a mythical horizon.
A mental construct that is always the same distance in the future.
Based on memories of the past, experience of the present and imagination of the future, all of which are skewed by the mind to remember the “best bits” and eliminate the “worst bits”.
Unreliable.
So why keep on trying to reach the future?
Why not just stop and enjoy the view?
What’s wrong with here, now?
And if you need to know what’s next – always ask a surrogate – somebody who is there – in your perceived future – right now. They are the only reliable source of information.
10.Activity is the key – Chris Barrow
I will claim the credit for this one – because in 1980 I took my first job in sales and a wrote “activity is the key” on the whiteboard behind my desk.
Now, in 2007, I have the same phrase written on the whiteboard behind my desk.
It’s all about activity – productive, focused activity.
Efficient is doing things right.
Effective is doing the right things right.

11.All the money you need – Dan Sullivan – The Strategic Coach®
“All the money you need for the rest of your career is in the pockets of the people you already know and the people they can introduce you to.”
So says Sullivan – and thereby provides the best definition of internal marketing I have ever read.
In dental practice it’s about making sure that:

  1. You have engaged all of your existing patients in a “good conversation” and
  2. You have made it possible for all of your existing patients to recommend you

12.It’s your calendar – Stephen Covey
There is no such thing as “not enough time” and yet virtually all of the delegates I ask at workshops raise their hands to confirm that they don’t have enough.
It’s all about priorities.
Self
Family
Business
Financial
Physical
Intellectual
Social
Spiritual
Ask a cancer fighter how important work is – and then ask what fate has to befall you before you feel the same way.

Why wait for terminal illness before you decide to get a life?
So there we are – a ramble through 12 phrases that have helped shaped my attitudes to life.
Now – let’s get back to business.

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Favourite dental web sites

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