A Very Happy New Year
Chris | December 31, 2009
And as we make the transition from the old to the new year – can I thank you for your continued readership, feedback and support.

And as we make the transition from the old to the new year – can I thank you for your continued readership, feedback and support.
I’m in Altrincham at the moment, having travelled here yesterday to celebrate my daughter’s birthday (17, going on 25).
Last night we had a meal at her favourite restaurant, Danilo’s in Hale (again) and, after driving 327 miles to get there in awful traffic, I left my car parked at Hale Station overnight and walked the mile or so to my apartment after quaffing a few drinks.
For the first time in ages, I woke at 04:30 and could not get back to sleep.
I lay in bed, in the dark, thinking about “stuff” – family, finances, friends, business, deadlines – you ever done that?
Having decided on a cup of tea, I then remembered that the milk and bread I had bought at Tesco Express last night – were in the boot of my car – duh.
You know when you definitely want a nice cup of tea and you cannot have one – how irritating that is?
Well, driven as I am – at 05:15 I left the apartment, all wrapped up against the dark night and freezing fog and started the walk back to Hale Station.
Just a few yards from my place is an Esso petrol station, manned 24-hours a day.
The overnight attendant normally sits securely behind locked doors and a security screen – but he was outside depositing newspapers in their stands.
As I walked past, I heard a loud shout and looked over to see the doors of a small saloon car opening and two men in baseball caps jump out and head towards the shop.
The attendant scurried inside and, before he could shut the door, the two men followed him in.
I was standing across the road, partially hidden behind a sign and with a clear view.
What would you do next?
The following thoughts raced through my still-drowsy mind:
The decision was to stay very still and observe.
And you know what?
Nothing happened.
Couple of guys – on the way home after a great night – probably high on something – stopping for drinks and cigarettes – no threat.
But this is South Manchester in 2009 – and it could have gone the other way.
I still had a good mile to walk – and I suddenly became aware of the fragility of my situation.
Walking through deserted streets, in the dark, in fog – and with nobody else is sight or in earshot.
During the rest of my journey I saw a few taxis and one milk-float – no pedestrians – and felt constantly “on guard”.
Maybe I’m out of touch or just getting older – maybe I’ve lived in Cornwall for too long.
I did count a small blessing when I reached the car.
Back home with that warm cuppa in my hands, I gave a moments thought for the relative security that our public services provide.
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That’s speechless admiration for every house-wife and house-husband.
The last three days I have been based at home in Falmouth whilst Annie has been working – and so the place has been mine.
I first of all acknowledge that there haven’t been any children in sight (apart from the students who live above us) – I can only imagine……
The fact is – that I live in a man’s world – and also the world of the sole trader who travels extensively on business.
A world in which I can decide to:
In fact I had planned for these three days to be a kind of self-indulgent “buffer” time – to think and plan.
What a wake up call this week has been.
Constant multi-tasking:
And to make matters worse – constant interruptions!
Not “my schedule” but “everyone else’s schedule”.
For once I know what its like to run a household – and it makes what I do for a living seem very simple.
Cheers to the home-makers all over the globe.
I can’t take much more of this – actually hit the sherry last night!
I dislike discos at the best of times – call me a Grinch (I am) but the thought of standing in a dark, noisy, crowded room full of smelly people and trying to hold down a conversation?
Not my idea of fun.
OK for dancing, drinking and acting daft for Facebook photos.
So why have HSBC decided that “the future” is to turn their bank branches into discos?
On Monday I made a rare visit to HSBC in Truro to pay in two cheques.
Normally a simple transaction – but this time one of the cheques is in Euros – so I’m not 100% sure what to do.
I walk through the door to see:
All around me, the sound of HSBC’s own radio channel – with the DJ (OK – well spoken lady) playing a selection of Christmas favourites along with chirpy comments about the benefits of an interest-bearing account – ho, ho, ho.
I set my expectation at “low” and wait in line to speak with the ONE AND ONLY MEMBER OF STAFF IN THE BRANCH.
Now don’t get me wrong – Truro isn’t Manchester – but there is a population of 20,000 in the city (yes – its a city) and 500,000 in the county – so its reasonable to expect that a city centre bank might have more then one person in attendance?
But no.
Eventually, I have my chance to explain that I’d like to pay in a cheque in Euros.
Her withering look of disdain makes me feel as if I have been reimbursed for the supply of arms.
“Well I will pay it in for you but I have to let you know that it could take between 3 and 4 weeks for the cheque to clear.”
“Why?” I ask, politely.
“Because of all the things they have to do.”
Stunning.
She takes the cheque off me, fills in a paying in slip, opens the drawer in which she keeps her rubber date stamp (the one she got when she was expelled from the HSBC customer relationship management course), stamps the slip and hands it to me.
No eye contact.
No rapport.
No appreciation.
Mind you – if I had to stand there all day, shouting at deaf pensioners over the sound of Bing Crosby and Slade, I’d probably be miserable as well.
I leave the “bank” with my bubble of yuletide jolliness well and truly popped – and promptly step in a dog turd right outside the door.
Its a metaphor I assume – and make my way back to Starbucks to stick my Timberland boot under the tap in the toilet.

“Dear Chris,
I’ve been running my bonus scheme as you suggested, but I am considering a change for 2010. There are pros and cons and I welcome your thoughts.
I remember a long time back you asked dentists for questions and I sent you in one “how can you make staff feel the same way about the practice as the owner?” I realise now that this is impossible, but certainly running the target scheme for the bonus encourages the team to be concerned about fee collection, profitability, keeping the appointment books well managed and full, and good use of time. I’ve linked it to sickness and absence so that team members with significant absence get a reduced percentage of the bonus.
The downside is that the last two years we have run below target and then have been playing “catch-up” all year which puts a lot of pressure on us all to finally make the target in the last few months. We have made it this year, which is simply brilliant for my financial planning and peace of mind and staff morale. However I feel that team performance was uneven – i.e. they “coast” for the first 9 months and then pull out all the stops for the last 3 months once they see their bonus maybe slipping away. Personally I felt quite pressured during November.
I am thinking of changing to the profit sharing scheme. I listened to the methods used by other dentist on your conference call. I am thinking of still paying it as a lump sum to those team members still in employment with us in December, but showing team members how their bonus accrues confidentially and individually on a month-by-month basis as the year progresses. The upside is that I hope it will result in a more even performance throughout the year. The downside is that without a cut-off target figure it is possible we could fall short of our annual target. I think the dentist who used this did not pay the bonus for any team member for any month if they were off sick. Maybe this is a little too harsh?
As always I am grateful for your thoughts on this.“
This debate has gurgled along for the 15 years I have worked in dentistry – with no clear winner between:
and probably some varieties that I’ve seen along the years – including all sorts of complicated systems from the USA.
The fact is that the advocates of all the systems (except perhaps the first) tell me good and bad stories about individual performance and behaviour.
After all these years, my preferences are either the 13th month or the monthly profit share – I couldn’t choose between the two.
The important lesson is to add to any of these systems:
The money on its own doesn’t make the difference.
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Last night I walked past Century House in St Peters Square Manchester on my way to dinner and the game.
I arrived here for my first day at work in September 1970, just a few days before my 16th birthday.
It amazes me how fate can affect our lives.
There were two school leavers starting with Friends Provident and Century Group that day, myself and Steve Higham (who I had never met before but who became a good friend).
We sat in the main office, nervous and on unfamiliar territory, until the assistant branch manager Mr Radband, greeted us both with the formality that prevailed “in those days”.
Our first instruction was to take a look at the light over the branch manager’s door – a single bulb.
“If that bulb is red, you do not enter Mr Stewart’s office under any circumstances. If the light is green, you knock and wait to be called to enter.”
Second instruction.
“You will always wear a jacket and tie. If it becomes necessary, I will issue an instruction that allows you to remove your jacket and/or loosen your tie – it happens very rarely.”
Third instruction.
“Mr Barrow, you have Maths “O”-level, so you will be working in the life assurance department. Mr Higham, you do not – so you will be working in the motor insurance department.“
Steve walks across the ground floor to meet his new department head – Les – and commence a lifelong friendship.
I walk upstairs to be introduced to my department head, Barry Jones – and commence a lifelong friendship.
For the next three years my desk is situated by the second window from the left on the first floor.
I spend 7 happy years working with Friends Provident.
I invest overall 23 years in financial services and learn the skills that enable me as a business coach.
Steve Higham eventually graduates as a loss adjuster and now runs his own successful business in Manchester.
A moment of truth – two paths diverge and careers/people are directed as a result.
I assume that Mr Radband passed away long ago – and never knew just how many lives he affected with that decision one Monday morning – a long, long time ago in a galaxy far away.
You may have noticed the TV advert that follows, aired during the X-Factor Final.
Pure genius is what you are about to see.
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