Chris Barrow’s Blog

• Leaving Vathi and heading towards fiery Athens! http://bit.ly/3Rh3e9 #
• If the baggage takes any longer we'll have no suntan http://bit.ly/190wir #
• First morning back home and a letter from my son in Malaysia on a Raleigh project. 37 degrees, 90 humidity and giant insects. I luv Falmouth #
• unplanned emergency trip to Manchester to deal with inexplicably intolerable behaviour of family members – goodbye holiday.. #
• Bloody hell – wide awake at 4:45 – back to reality. Mission accomplished yesterday and new boundaries visible. Now I just want to get home #
• Coffee with my daughters before I head back to the airport #
• @alexjones5 sorry to hear your news mate. Nicely puts my issues in perspective #
• @RichardCharon ta mate. Btw, we have already booked next year in Vathi #
• Newquay flight is 50% drunken Scousers. Hope we keep the wheels for landing. #
• first real day at home – unpacking and just getting tidy and organised #
• Annie finds the tomatos in Tesco are extraordinary and interesting! #

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I have been very cautious about “wedding fayres” as a source of new business over the years.

Feedback from clients has been that interest and new business have slowed down over the years – sometimes because the bride and groom and so far away from the “big day” that investing in whiter/straighter teeth is not seen as important – at other times because people getting married are just short of cash – especially after their wallets have been emptied by the other traditional exhibitors.

Add our “annus economicus horribilis” and you aren’t going to set the world on fire.

HOWEVER

That might not be the whole point.

My photograph is from the team at Orthoworld in Taunton, who managed to cobble together the stand you see on very limited resources – and then volunteer their time to attend.

Practice manager Sue Tomlinson writes:

We did a Wedding Fayre yesterday at the Rugby Club in Taunton and I have attached a photo of our stand for you to see.
 
Most people we spoke with were interested in Whitening, although we did speak with 2 other traders who were interested in Straightening.
 
Unfortunately it wasn’t very busy and in the afternoon it went really quiet.
 
There is another Wedding Fayre in Taunton in October we’ll give that one a go too.

And what I admire about that is that they are at least prepared to “have a go”.

I’ve written to suggest some changes in location and presentation – but my heart is warmed this morning by a team who are doing something positive.

• Bad day for Annie. Stung by a wasp and fell off a rock. Large foot, leg and arm wounds. Still sexy #
• Watching sunset over Vathi for the last time this year. #

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• a miserably wet Monday morning – desk day before I fly to Gatwick this evening – full business development day #
• excellent customer service at Ocean BMW Falmouth – light bulb replaced under warranty, coffee and free wifi in the lounge #
• at least Air South West are consistently crap at time-keeping. 18:15 to Gatwick is now 18:40….. #
• Just boarding. They can't even be late on time.. #
• Last practice visit before my vacation. Ready to do my Gordon Ramsey thing #
• Full day coaching one of the nicest dentists I have met to the realisation that radical change is his winning strategy #
• When troubleshooting, I coach people who have failed to re-invent themselves and their business – a 21st Century necessity #
• the first of 3 business and personal development days in Falmouth #
• @AccelerateMe 7 Habits in 1980 and a manager who believed in me in reply to AccelerateMe #
• Emails over soup in The Shed – rather excited that the Red Arrows are performing over Falmouth at 18:15 and I will have a grandstand view #
• clients don't want exploding cigars (gimmicks) – or passive coaching (what would YOU do?) – they want straight answers and accountability #
• I'm frazzled – going for a bike ride… #
• and then I looked at the garden and realised that tomorrow it might rain. Landscape gardener mows lawn! Equally therapeutic.. #
• that was a lovely ride along the coast and a super coaching call with Simon Reilly as I sat by a golf course in the sunshine #
• wonderful quote cooked up in conversation with Simon Reilly "the wealthiest coaches are those that make themselves scaleable and available" #
• OK Chris – walk away from the Macbook…. #
• Falmouth to Gatwick in 8 hours – phew! #
• 07:00 take off from Gatwick. Annie has checked all emergency exits and is wearing safety knickers (fire retardent) #

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There’s no better way to start a foreign holiday then to wake up on Saturday morning to a good Cornish coastal “mizzle” – a light rain falling at the speed of snowflakes onto a damp garden.

Last night we entertained Cat Maceachen, who will be house-sitting with her boyfriend Ash whilst we travel.

As Falmouth Week draws to it’s close, I’ll be glad to see the back of the tourists who have swarmed all over the town and the county this last week.

My usual 35-minute drive to Newquay Airport yesterday becomes a 90-minute epic as I duck and weave across the peninsula to avoid queueing traffic.

Poor Cat waits patiently at the airport and we have to repeat the journey back to “ours”, although forewarned is forearmed and I manage to cut 30 minutes off the journey by taking some back-roads that visitors would never notice.

Even so – two and a half hours to the airport and back is a record. It does not bode well for our drive to Gatwick tomorrow.

In Cornwall, Saturday is known as “change-over day” as tourists arrive and depart from their hotels and cottages – there’s a golden rule in the West Country – leave your car on the drive.

I do intend to cut across country on the “303” but getting to Exeter could be a challenge.

I’m going to risk political incorrectness (for a change?) and observe that the quality of visitors this year has taken a nose dive.

Perhaps the first true sign of recession is that the usual ranks of Benidormers have changed their plans in favour of camping in England – and as far South as they can manage.

I’ve never seen so many tents in fields, nor so many chain-smoking, tattooed men and women in football shirts, jeans and trainers (the former) or ill-fitting white t-shirts, jeans and flip-flops, pushing prams occupied by snotty little kids (the latter).

Call me a snob – I am a self-confessed council house escapee – but the place has been crawling with Britain’s detritus for a few weeks now and it’s horrible.

I remember many years ago on holiday in Crete, listening to a group of South Africans discussing how they chose their holiday destinations carefully to avoid “ESB’s” – when one of the party asked for an explanation – the answer came back as “English Scum Bags”.

I initially began to get angry and then calmed down when I realised that this was not far away from my own thoughts.

However, it was interesting to note that, when I went down to town on my mountain bike yesterday afternoon, Event Square was polluted by a large group of South African males in their mid-20’s, absolutely smashed out of their minds, staggering to the point of falling down drunk in the street and putting the fear of God in passers-by (including myself).

The usual vulgar and loud behaviour of drunken people all over the planet.

So bad-behaviour is not just the preserve of the English.

I manage to clear the work decks by 19:00 last night and we celebrate the start of my vacation with a bottle of bubbly that’s been lurking in the bottom of the fridge for such an occasion.

There is a big firework display scheduled in the inner harbour at 22:00 and so we wander down in the rain to see what we can see.

I’m embarrassed that Cat’s first experience of our lovely town centre is singing gangs of men wandering down the High Street – in my 5 years in Cornwall and nearly three years in Falmouth, I have never witnessed that before – not even at high season.

Falmouth has a large student population – but when students get drunk they usually make silly fools of themselves and don’t represent a threat.

Last night we had a disco in Event Square with a theme of 80’s versus 90’s and swarming with inebriated young ladies in fluorescent tou-tou’s, chatting to the usual testosterone crowd of young men in white shirts and jeans. All around were scenes that belong in Newquay or Ibiza – not here in my town.

We did manage to find some peace at Custom House Quay and sat with more mature visitors and, interestingly, many students, in a much better behaved crowd who enjoyed some of the traditional Cornish beers at The Chain Locker before we watched the display.

Its not easy to “do” fireworks when the cloud base is at about 100 feet and the rain is dribbling out of the sky – but the “oo’s” and “aa’s” were still in evidence.

After the final big bang (well, splatter actually), we staggered back up the hill to our place and decided to get an early night.

Falmouth Week ends this weekend and I hope that Cat and Ash have the chance to see the town at it’s best whilst we are away.

So now I’m switching off the technology for the last time – and setting off on a 3-day journey to Ithaca, via Athens, to an island that we love, not the least because we will not see anything like the behaviour I’ve witnessed.

Roll on sunshine, warm seas and breezes and rest.

Things Fall Apart – Chinua Achebe

The Seige of Krishnapur – J G Farrell

A Prayer for Owen Meany – John Irving

The Book of Chameleons – Jose Eduardo Agualusa

The Angel’s Cut – Elizabeth Knox

The Other – David Guterson

I know this is 5 minutes of unabashed promotion for Guy Levine (nothing wrong with that) but also an interesting perspective on the financial benefits of search engine optimisation.

I have to admit to being astonished.

Here’s the time-line.

18:00 casually click on Facebook advert from Optical Express, offering free laser-eye correction for those age 55 and over (yes – that’s me – sigh).

18:02 – finish completing basic details – name, post-code, email, phone and…..CLICK

18:03

I kid you not – 60-seconds later…

My mobile rings and a young lady in a call-centre (Scottish) thanks me for my enquiry and suggests that I attend the nearest store (in Torquay) for a free assessment.

After picking myself off the floor, I explain that Torquay is too far away, that I’m about to take a vacation, that I travel on business.

She agrees to call me on 27th August to book a free consult in any nationwide store to suit my travel.

And wishes me a good holiday.

18:04

Email arrives to confirm my entry into the free-prize draw and also introduces me to their dental and facial aesthetics clinics.

Plus a link to download their information pack.

In less than 4 minutes I have travelled two-thirds of the way down their prospect pipeline – and had a good experience (not a bit pushy).

Do I think she will call me on 27th?

Damn right I do.

Do I think she will ask if my holiday was a success?

No doubt.

Will I book a free consult.

I’m bloody sure of it.

Was I interested in laser-eye surgery at 17:59?

No.

Is that the single most breath-taking customer service experience I have had this year.

Yup.

Am I a little paranoid?

Just a bit – I feel as if she may be watching me right now……

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I have to say that the team air-side are almost always polite and efficient but I want you to make a mental note to yourself to

NEVER

that’s

NEVER

use this airline.

The photo above is an imaginary wave “good-bye” to me from this company.

I’ve written to Phillippa this morning, asking her to delete this airline from my life and from my travel plans.

I would rather pogo-stick around the nation with a bag of rotting fish tied to my head, than take any more chances with this idiotically inefficient airline.

Those who follow me around on Twitter will know that I have frequently been delayed and abandoned by ASW over the last few years.

Wherever I use them to travel there are always a number of hurdles to cross:

• can their aircraft get in and out of Plymouth?
• can they get in and out of Newquay (Britain’s foggiest airport)?
• do they have enough aircraft to fly the routes they have sold?

I suspect the answer to the last question is a resounding “no”.

About a year ago I reported on a bizarre scene at Newquay, 06:45 on a winter’s morning.

I’m due to fly to Leeds/Bradford to meet an implantologist for the day – he has booked out a day for me, so his investment in fees and lost earnings is considerable.

We (the passengers, or victims?) are asked for a show of hands:

• who wants to fly at 17:00 tonight?
• who wants to get a bus to Leeds?
• who wants their money back?

And, based upon the results of this poll and similar groups in other airports, I imagine a Mr Burns character flicking his abacus and deciding which routes get pulled.

On that occasion, the coaching day was cancelled, I wrote to ASW to explain my feelings and received a standard reply from someone who was possibly younger then 25, a failed English language student and unconcerned at my displeasure.

There have been similar days on which a journey to Scotland or London has only been possible because I have broken the world land-speed record and dashed the 87 miles from Newquay to Exeter Airport, or the 100 miles to Tiverton Parkway station. In the latter case, once running down the road from the station car park after a race against time and literally jumping onto the Paddington train with seconds to spare.

In the last few weeks I have used ASW to commute to Scotland a number of times – not once has the flight been on time, in either direction.

On Monday I flew to Gatwick – the flight was late.

And that brings me to last night.

I’m simply going to spell this out – like an episode of “24”.

18:39, arrives Gatwick station from a practice visit on the South Coast.

18:45, catches monorail from South Terminal to North Terminal and arrives at ASW check in desk.

As I am checking in, airport official arrives at desk with walkie-talkie and tells check-in lady that ASW are reporting that there are “technical difficulties” – my ears prick up.

He explains to her and me that:

• 19:55 flight can only fly to Plymouth
• passengers for Newquay will be bussed from Plymouth (I’ve done this before with ASW – bus means mini-cab)
• last time they bussed me from Plymouth to Newquay was on the way back from the Glasgow BDA in March – we ended up with an international taxi-driver who we had to direct as he had never heard of Newquay, possibly Cornwall – and an asthmatic old woman in the front of the cab who drifted in and out of consciousness as the journey unfolded
• oh – and by the way – the flight to Plymouth will be taking off “about” 22.30 this evening

I do quick mental calculation:

• arrive Plymouth 23:30
• on the assumption that there are cabs around
• on the assumption that the cab driver knows where he is going
• arrive Newquay about 01:00
• to find the car park pay station closed for the night (they all go home after 23:00)
• and there are no cabs
• so maybe I have to call Annie and ask her to drive 40 minutes to pick me up
• and arrive home maybe 02:00
• with a full day ahead of me today

18:50, ask check-in lady if Flybe have a flight to Newquay this evening – she says “yes” at 19:55 – but the ticket desk and departure are back in the South Terminal.

18:54, run back to monorail and arrive as the doors close – 5 minute to the next shuttle.

18:55, call Flybe ticket sales to discover their office is closed in the evening.

19:05, emerge from monorail and sprint (with briefcase and overnight suitcase) along travellator and into South Terminal – ask first desk I see where the Flybe desks are – “further down on the right”.

19:06, arrive Flybe ticket sales and ask queue of customers if I can jump to the front – they all say “yes”.

19:08, purchase one-way ticket to Newquay – £64.70 (including £13.00 charge for my luggage).

19:10, check in at adjacent desk – suitcase disappears down the conveyor belt.

19:15, arrive a queue for security – about 100+ people in a switch-back line.

Ask yellow-shirted student (the ones who ask if you are carrying any liquids and give you a plastic bag) if I can jump the queue.

“Computer says NO”.

I explain that my boarding time is 19:20 – that’s in 5 minutes.

“Computer says NO”.

Not wishing to wrestle with, let alone murder “the pig” – I walk to the back of the queue and confirm that I am not carrying any liquids and don’t need a plastic bag.

19:22, start working the queue – simply asking every group of 4 people ahead of me, politely and calmly“

”Excuse me but my flight is due to board in 3 minutes, could I possibly step ahead of you“ – trying very hard not to look like an escaping jewel thief.

My faith in human nature is somewhat lifted by the unanimous agreement of those in the queue, who respond with a Dunkirk spirit and quickly usher me forward with words of encouragement – ”good luck mate“.

19:25, arrive at X-ray machine, deposit Macbook Pro in bucket 1, briefcase in bucket 2, jacket in bucket 3.

19:26, walk safely through X-ray machine and discover that my briefcase has been pulled for a random security check for the first time in over 3 years.

I kid you not – I am not making this up.

19:27, slowest lady in Gatwick security carefully empties every single item from my briefcase, swabs the pockets and announces that I’m clear – then walk away, leaving the contents of my professional life strewn across the table, like the innards of a beached whale, savaged by a walrus.

19:28, my arms go into octopus mode as I throw everything back into the case.

19:29, I walk out into the departure lounge to find that passengers are being randomly picked to have their shoes X-rayed. Decide to just keep walking and avoid eye contact – Matrix-like moment as I walk slowly past waiting attendant – who ignores me.

19:30, run to departure screen and see that Flybe to Newquay is departing Gate 10 and the screen reads ”flight closing“

19:31, start running for Gate 10 – which, of course, is at the very end of a jetty – about 300 yards away.

19:34, still running, I see ahead a further security queue – about 50 people waiting to have their boarding cards scanned to confirm that the security photo taken earlier matches – I begin to slow down and despair – maybe 100 yards from gate 10.

19:35, the guy on security sees me powering down the corridor, ducking and weaving between buggies, children, adults and trolleys – reminiscent of Indiana Jones at his finest.

He waves to me to swerve left and run down a clear shute, past the waiting queue – he scans my boarding card – I fleetingly see a photo of myself back at security 10 minutes ago, face drawn, badly in need of botox.

19:40, I run around the corner to Gate 10, fully expecting another disappointment.

The passengers are boarding and a short, round lady in uniform and yellow jacket asks’

”Are you the chap for the Newquay flight?“

”yes I am“

”Well I never believed you would make it in time – you must be bloody fit, that’s a Gatwick record!“

I question her….

”Can I ask you a favour?“

”What?“

”Could I have a hug please?“

She smiles and we hug.

The last few passengers boarding the flight look back and smile.

19:41, I board my flight to Newquay and sit in a pool of sweat for 15 minutes as we taxi to take off.

20:50 we approach Newquay and I marvel at a spectacular and beautiful sunset and think about the poor ASW passengers who will still be sat waiting for a nightmare to begin.

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21:45 arrive home after my last business journey before we vacation this weekend.

Annie has a large glass of Pinot Grigio Blush waiting, with taramasalata and pitta bread as I recount my adventures.

To Air South West – my final good-bye – I genuinely hope that the competition from Flybe and others either teaches you that I have your profits in my pocket or that you go quickly out of business.

I cannot even be bothered writing to request a refund.

To Gatwick Airport, 99% thanks for making most of the experience manageable – just one young boy with no initiative – but overall a fantastic team effort to get me through an obstacle course.

To the passengers who allowed me through and spurred me on – thank you for restoring some of my faith in human nature – its not all losers and freaks on Big Brother and Jeremy Kyle – there are still lots of decent people out there.

And, of course, to life(!) and the adventures that we are given to write about.

NEVER use Air South West.

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Quite bizarre to be chatting with a client on the phone yesterday who has just returned from his main annual vacation.

He is calm, relaxed, refreshed and determined to read more, take more time for physical fitness, spend more time with his family.

And, of course, to knock his business into shape once and for all.

To contrast, I am a week away from Greece, happy, knackered and ready for a break.

Life out of balance, more hotel nights clocked up than I care to remember, my car looking forward to a rest, fitness a dim memory, piles of books on my “to read”shelf/space on the bedroom floor.

The conversation reminds me that in a few weeks I’ll be full of that hope – that life can be balanced, as we splash down onto a British runway after 2 weeks of sun, sea and ouzo.

Great question from said client:

“Ok coach – give me a ”to do“ list that will get me back up to speed quickly.”

I’m not sure that back up to THAT speed is going to be good for him but:

• re-connect with your support team – a quick conversation with everyone, collectively and individually to make sure they are happy
• invest a half-day in looking at your strategic plan between now and the end of the year – remind yourself of exactly what has to happen to get to New Years Eve intact and on target
• establish a “back to work” retail KEDO with which to motivate your existing/new patients commencing 1st September (see this week’s ezine for some ideas)
• review your pipeline
  • new patient enquiries to follow up
  • new patient appointments booked
  • treatment plans issued and not yet closed
  • treatment plans in course of delivery
• Make sure that August cash flow is secure and accelerated where possible
• If you haven’t done it already – make sure that between now and the year end you have allocated some time to review your
  • 3-year vision
  • 12-month plan
  • 90-day goals
  • 2010 calendar
  • 2010 cash flows (personal and professional)

Plenty to do there then.

Oh – and by the way – show up as a dentist every day as well